Being that it's been about 3 years since my last entry here. Yeesh.
Well, obviously, my activity lately can only be described as sporadic as best. However, I am hoping that this can change in the near future and I can develop a much more regular habit of posting. Well, really, the habit I want to form is a much more regular habit of working on my skills, my expression, and learning how to really make my images reflect what I am trying to depict. I still feel there's that last ~15% to 20% missing from many (most? all?) of my images. Over time I hope to cover this gap, but of course it's not going to happen anytime soon if I keep on such a sporadic schedule.
Anyway, this last year has been a little more than just a roller coaster. Last time I updated I was more than happy to discuss life with Christian. Unfortunately, mostly due to diverging lives and revealing of built up emotions and ideas, Christian decided to move on a bout a year ago. Honestly, if I had not been so absorbed in my dissertation and trying to graduate by the end of that December, I'm sure I would have fallen a lot further than I did. The loss of that relationship, support, and emotional connection certainly hit me hard and the process of recovering and healing has taught me quite a lot about myself this past year. I have been through loves that ended in the past, but I don't think I felt a heartbreak as deep as that and I experienced another aspect of my emotions that I did not dwell on before.
But, the implication there has been that I have healed. It's been difficult at times, but I have made it through the worst and hopefully I've come through truly a stronger person. Perhaps a little more aware of my own limitations and my own naivete but, somewhat counter intuitively, also wiser for the experience. A deeper understanding of love and human connection is what I'm hoping I can make the best use of going forward.
Also, the other "little" side note there was that I finally did finish my dissertation. Completed my PhD and am now finally "Doctor." (Not medical, Mechanical Engineering). Haha. I have yet to really make use of the new title. Though hopefully someday within the next couple years I will be Professor/Doctor Martinez. Currently working at a different lab still on the campus at UC, Irvine as a postdoctoral scholar. Just looking to broaden my expertise a little, deepen my computing/modeling skills, and apply for professorships of my own. With this postdoc, I am trying to position myself as an expert of the intersection between energy and the environment, focusing in particular on the interplay back and forth and methods of understanding such through modeling.
That's pretty much about the gist of the past year. It has been a roller coaster for sure. The recent gallery, Catalina Trip, was composed of images I took on my birthday to Catalina Island. It was a very introspective day and a chance for me to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going. It was very healing and freeing to be alone exploring like that. Perhaps more trips are in order. I may turn into a camper/backpacker/hiker yet!